Welcome to the World, Little One

There exist in the world a number of nut-jobs who believe that the end is near. According to them, because the Mayan calendar ends in 2012, the Anti-Christ will come and will cause numerous floods (buy flood insurance before then), wars (don’t sign up for the military), fireballs to fall from the sky (make sure your homeowners policy is current), famine (canned foods are available for purchase at most grocery stores) and Yellowstone to blow up in a magnificent eruption (this will only disrupt the lives of a few rangers and some bears). Because of this Anti-Christ, the plates of the earth will shift, so that those of us in North America will be in China (which is a problem because I don’t speak Chinese), the polar magnetism will reverse (which will be a problem for hikers and people who are so clueless they still use compasses to find their way around), and dragons from the depths of hell will come and eat all the virgins (I think most adults will be safe, as will most high schoolers, according to the media).

To attribute all of this mess to one human being is insane. Almost as insane as believing that driving stupid cars called Prius’ are going to stop the severely questionable concept of global warming or that at some point, the government of the United States will actually begin addressing the concerns of the people they claim to represent.

There are also pessimists that believe that the world is in such a state of affairs that they consider the concept of bringing babies into the world a recipe for disaster. They believe that with all the wars, injustices, poverty, pornography and politics, this world is not meant for newborns. These people should do the rest of us a favor and jump off the top of the tallest building they can find. Of course, it should be done on a rainy day, so as to make clean up as easy as possible. This would save them the trouble of bitching about everything in their life, and it would save the rest of us the trouble of hearing their baseless complaints.

These nut jobs would tell you that it’s pointless to have children now, because there will be no world in which to live.

Thankfully, people with some sense in their heads know that the people subscribing to the topics outlined above are idiots. Most people, even callous cynics such as myself, think babies are great. Most people cherish newborns and enjoy thinking about the possibilities that lay ahead for the young ones. Everyone feels a sense of pride for the parents as well as the child when witnessing the child’s first steps, the first words and the first day of riding a bike without training wheels. That sense of pride comes from the communal knowledge that there is yet another chance for humanity to rectify its self. The community around that child knows that this child could grow up to do something great and during the first years of that child’s life, the community of adults around that child bend over backwards to make sure that child has a supportive position from which to grow. Eventually, the child will learn to live the life he or she chooses. Until then (and even past that time, in some wonderful cases), the adult community will continue to nurture that child, intently watching and monitoring his or her growth.

So when my childhood friend and his wife told me that they were pregnant, I was absolutely ecstatic. It was shortly after I broke my ankle, and I was on a heavy dose of medication. This means that it took a minute for the news to set in. Once it finally did, I was unquestionably, absolutely, unabashedly proud of them. Because of the medication, and the fact that I am male, my reaction was subdued, but nonetheless, I was happy. They are a great couple and that child is lucky to have parents such as them.

I remember the first time I met my friend. My father was taking the training wheels off my bike, and the boy had just moved in up the street. Down the hill he came, soaring like the wind, uninhibited by the training wheels. We’ve been friends since that day. Our families have become so close that I was once actually grounded by his mother for misbehaving. And due to her call to my mother, I was grounded at home too.

I also remember meeting his wife. Remember her being exactly what I expected and absolutely not what I expected at the same time. She certainly has the beauty I would hope for my friend, and probably more than he deserves, but she also has the intelligence to back up that beauty. In short, I feel I can safely say she makes a perfect match for him. The child will certainly be attractive and smart, especially knowing that her genes are involved. Her genes will certainly make up for anything he lacks. Just kidding, bro.

It is fair to say that he and I truly are brothers from different mothers. I can only hope that their child will have a like experience in growing up. I am a firm believer that while parenting is important, parenting comes in many forms, often from the community surrounding the child, not just the child’s parents. It does take a community to raise a child, and I know that with the amount of friends and family surrounding this child, it will feel no shortage of love.

Unfortunately, I do not live in the same city as this developing family, so this child will have to receive love from my fiancée and I by post, which will be fine, because if we were any closer, we’d spoil the poor child (as if the child won’t be spoiled already). I expect that we’ll still try, but at least it will take a week to ten days for the spoils to arrive (if they even do, knowing the US postal system).

At any rate, yesterday morning, I received a text with a picture.  I would like to welcome a brand new baby girl into the world.  Nora, your parents are some of the best people who exist.  Consider yourself lucky that your parents aren’t idiots.

Now there is yet another chance for humanity to redeem itself, as well as another possible babysitter for when I have children.


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